• 'i should've cheaaaaaaaated...."

"just my thoughts man
right or wrong
just what i was feeling at the time..."
•jay-z

adults in romantic relationships aren't devastated when they fall victim to infidelity. sure. that shit hurts. it's my argument that once those initial feels of betrayal and the 'why me's' fade and the desire to slash some fucking tires has subsided..... what people are MOST often left with is this:



disappointment

that THEY didn't cheat first.

folks drive themselves mad thinking, not about how they've been wronged....

no no. instead you're remembering all the chances YOU had to fuck up but didn't.

twisted, right

so. in a world of engagements.... "it's complicated'ness" and matrimony... complete with love (read: lust) , understanding (read: tolerance) , and joint bank accounts (read: dependence) ....

where we're often encouraged to be SELFLESS while somehow managing (above all) to look out for self...



what's a person to do ?



•well...


x.xvi

•so, yeah....

"i once cried because i had no shoes

until i met a man

who had

no feet...."

game proper.

shout out to perspective

• x| xvi

•now, THIS is a story... all about how...

"u know my nerves bad

trigger like a toothpick..."

- young jeezy

so. i lost my words. left them on top of a refrigerator in a house i don't live in anymore.

i guess.

must've dropped 'em in the passenger seat of that married dude, that i was dating's ( allegedly ), car.

or in the parking lot that one night during the final kiss w/my ex.

we were never good.
together.

u know... i think i saw 'em at the bottom of one of those tequila bottles from 2009... (and the start of 2010).

if not there then they MUST be at the church that sunday i was certain i got saved.

was sure i'd find them the day my baby started kindergarten. or the night my fiance proposed.

didn't happen.

good news, tho.....

good news.

i've found my words, it seems.

it happened right as i abandoned the search.

(ain't that a bitch...)





.....just hope i don't misplace them.

again.